Pursuing Excellence: Understanding the Drive and Integrity of Enneagram One
Imagine a young woman named Elizabeth who, even as a child, couldn’t stand it when things were out of place. She was the one who lined up her toys in perfect rows, double-checked her homework for any errors, and always made sure the rules were followed—both by herself and others.
As Elizabeth grew older, this keen sense of right and wrong didn’t fade; it intensified. She became known among her peers as the one who could be counted on to do things the right way, no matter the cost.
Elizabeth’s drive for excellence made her a natural leader, someone others looked up to for her integrity and commitment to doing what was right.
But beneath this admirable pursuit of perfection, Elizabeth often felt the weight of her own expectations. The gap between the ideal she envisioned and the reality she encountered sometimes frustrated her.
She found herself listening to a voice, a kind of inner critic, that never seemed to rest or give her a break. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Elizabeth’s story is not unique. It reflects the experience of many who share the personality patterns of an Enneagram One.
You may know someone like this; someone who exemplifies integrity, a strong sense of purpose, and an unwavering commitment to doing what’s right.
Or that “someone” may even be you… some of the time or even most of the time.
Often known as "The Perfectionist" or "The Reformer," people with this personality pattern are driven by a deep desire to improve themselves and the world around them, striving for excellence in all they do.
The Positive Power of Enneagram One
Ones are natural leaders when it comes to ethics and standards. They have a remarkable ability to see what needs to be done and are often motivated by a sense of duty and responsibility.
Their keen eye for detail and their commitment to high standards make them reliable and trustworthy, whether in professional settings, personal relationships, or community efforts.
This commitment to doing things right, paired with a deep sense of fairness, makes Ones champions of justice and advocates for positive change.
They are driven by a vision of a better world, and their persistence often leads to real and lasting improvements in other people’s lives.
Ones are also known for their self-discipline and ability to stay focused on their goals, even when faced with challenges or setbacks.
Hiding What Hurts Most
Ones are in the same personality vector as Eights and Nines, meaning that their core emotion is anger.
Ones often become angry at the perceived gap between their vision of what is ideal and the realities of life.
This gap can be internal, leading to a strong inner critic when they fall short of “the way things should be done.” Or it can be external, when other people and situations can’t possibly rise to the One’s high standards.
In the context of the Patterns of Developmental Pathways (PDP) model, Ones tend to downregulate their emotions, particularly anger, by channeling it into self-control and disciplined action. Downregulation, in this sense, refers to the containment or suppression of emotional responses to maintain composure and stay aligned with their ideals.
However, when this anger is not acknowledged or addressed, it can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, or rigidity. Ones are often overly critical of themselves and others, leading to burnout or strained relationships.
I know a One who told me, “I’m a good person. Good people don’t get angry. Yet I know I’ve been angry my entire life and I keep shoving it down.” (“Good people don’t get angry” is a personal “rule” that makes it hard to function with authenticity and integrity. As a coach, I help people identify their internal “rules” and work toward greater internal freedom.)
The challenge for Ones is to recognize that while their pursuit of excellence is admirable, it’s also important to embrace imperfection and allow space for grace and compassion, both for themselves and for others.
Attachment Filters, Implicit Memories, and Interpersonal Neurobiology
The drive for perfection in Ones is often deeply rooted in early attachment experiences and the implicit memories formed during those formative years.
Attachment filters—shaped by early interactions with caregivers—can significantly influence how Ones experience and express their need for order, control, and righteousness.
Those with secure attachments may channel their drive for excellence in a balanced way, while those with non-secure attachments may experience heightened anxiety or anger when faced with imperfections, both in themselves and others.
Implicit memories—subconscious emotional imprints from early experiences—often fuel the relentless inner critic that many Ones struggle with.
These memories can trigger a subconscious drive to correct or perfect everything around them, sometimes without fully understanding why they are so compelled to do so. The desire for perfection often masks deeper fears of inadequacy or unworthiness, which are rooted in these implicit memories.
Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) helps us understand how these attachment experiences and implicit memories shape the brain’s development, influencing how Ones regulate their emotions and respond to the world around them.
By bringing these subconscious patterns into conscious awareness, Ones can begin to challenge the internal rules and expectations that drive them, allowing for greater self-compassion and emotional flexibility.
The Spiritual Drive for Righteousness
From a spiritual perspective, the drive for righteousness and integrity that characterizes Ones is a reflection of God’s holiness and justice.
However, just as God’s justice is tempered by mercy, Ones are called to balance their pursuit of excellence with compassion and understanding—both for themselves and others.
We see this balance reflected in the relationship between the Persons of the Trinity. God the Father embodies justice and holiness, yet God’s actions are always in harmony with the grace and love extended through Jesus Christ, the Son.
The Holy Spirit, as the guide and comforter, reminds us that true righteousness is not about being perfect but about living in alignment with God’s will, which includes accepting our humanity.
Ones can reflect this divine balance in their own lives by learning to acknowledge their anger and perfectionism, allowing it to inform their actions without letting it dominate their identity.
By embracing both their strengths and their limitations, Ones can lead with integrity while also cultivating a spirit of kindness and humility.
Navigating a One’s Patterns of Challenges
If you identify with the tendencies of an Enneagram One, you likely recognize that your drive for perfection often leads you to set high standards for yourself and others. While this instinct is a gift, it can also become a barrier to deeper connection with others and with God.
Here are some strategies to help you navigate the challenges of maintaining integrity while also embracing imperfection:
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Begin by recognizing that perfection is an unattainable goal and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Practice self-forgiveness and remind yourself that your worth is not defined by your ability to meet every standard.
2. Embrace Imperfection: Allow yourself to embrace the imperfections in life as opportunities for growth and learning. Engage in activities that encourage creativity and flexibility, where the outcome is less important than the process. I promise that focusing on creativity and process over outcome will really change things for you!
3. Balance Criticism with Encouragement: Ones can be highly critical, both of themselves and others. Practice balancing this with positive reinforcement. Focus on what is going well and express appreciation for the efforts of yourself and others. A daily practice of thanking God by writing in a gratitude journal–or speaking into an audio gratitude journal if you hate to write–will make a huge difference.
4. Reflect on Spiritual Anchors: Spend time in prayer or reflection, asking God to help you balance your drive for excellence with grace. Consider how Jesus embodied both righteousness and mercy, and seek to emulate this balance in your own life.
5. Develop Flexibility: Work on being more adaptable in your expectations and approach to situations. This can help reduce feelings of frustration and open you up to new possibilities and ways of thinking.
How to Respond to the Ones in Your Life
If you have an Enneagram One in your life, you likely admire their strong sense of duty and their commitment to doing what’s right. Ones are often the ones who uphold standards and ensure that tasks are completed with excellence. However, their tendency to be critical or rigid can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or tension.
Here are some ways to respond to and support the Ones in your life:
1. Acknowledge Their Efforts: Ones often work hard to meet high standards. Be aware of the inner critic who lives in their head all the time. Acknowledge their dedication and the quality of their work. Let them know that their efforts are seen and appreciated.
2. Encourage Relaxation: Ones can be prone to overworking and stress. Gently offer them opportunities to take breaks and engage in activities that help them relax and recharge.
3. Be Patient and Understanding: Understand that the critical tendencies of Ones often stem from their own inner drive for perfection. Be patient with them and try to see things from their perspective, while gently encouraging them to embrace flexibility.
4. Offer Reassurance: Ones can be hard on themselves, much harder than anyone else will ever be. Think about that… and how it affects your interactions with them. Offer reassurance that they are valued for who they are, not just for what they accomplish. This can help them feel more secure and less pressured to be perfect.
5. Support Their Growth: Encourage Ones to explore their feelings and embrace imperfection. Support them in finding balance and practicing self-compassion as they navigate their high standards.
By understanding and responding to the Ones in your life with patience, encouragement, and respect, you can help them feel supported and valued as they strive to live with integrity and purpose.
Invitation to Deeper Exploration
Understanding and managing the balance of integrity and anger is just one aspect of the complex personality patterns found in Enneagram One. If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me for the upcoming retreat, "Leading with Life in Balance."
This retreat offers a unique opportunity to dive deeper into your personality tendencies, explore how they influence your spiritual journey, and learn practical tools for living with greater balance and intention.
By attending this retreat, you will gain profound self-knowledge, helping you identify and take advantage of your strengths and address your challenges in a supportive and nurturing environment. You can learn more about the retreat and register by visiting this link.
As you continue on this journey of self-discovery, remember that your pursuit of excellence is a gift, but true integrity comes from balancing that drive with grace, humility, and self-compassion.
I hope to see you at the retreat, where we can explore these themes together and grow in our understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God.
