Ruach: A Poem

Written while on retreat

I wrote this poem during my recent personal retreat where I experienced several days of silence, prayer, walking, and listening.

Ruach is a Hebrew word that can mean breath, wind, or spirit. In the Bible, it carries the mystery of God’s life-giving presence—the breath that animates us, the wind that moves unseen, the Spirit who hovers, speaks, and brings new life.

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Ruach

by Deborah Owen

When the glare of the sun
Turned the glass window
Into a near-mirror,
I gazed at my self,
Swearing I could see
The wrinkles in my soul
As easily as the growing wrinkles
In the skin around my eyes.

I opened my mouth, breathed in, and
Breathed out—HHAWW—Onto my twin,
Fogging the face that watched
Every move, every twitch,
Every evident imperfection.

Now her vision was blinded.
Now she couldn’t witness
The vein near my collarbone,
Pulsating almost imperceptibly
With uncertainty and perplexity,
And her eyes couldn’t follow
The formless void of purpose
That etched such an obvious hole
In the center of my soul.

When the mist on the glass began to clear
And my identical image
Again showed her visage,
I realized I was the one who
Was hiding in the hazily
Obscured truth in
The glazed glass.

But my damp breath couldn’t dim
The visual beneath the veneer
Of fortitude:
A lonely child leaning into
Her Father’s gathering arms,
Seeking his certainty of
Strength, tender belovedness,
And rhythmically beating heart,
Holding all her questions,
Doubts, and fears,
With gentle peace.

Rushing back to my self
I expectantly searched for
My parallel persona,
But the sun had shifted and the faint
Figure in the glass was vanishing.
All that was left were the fading
Fringes of my moist breath
And my own longing eyes
Seeking the soul-lifting solace
Of companions on the path
And the Father’s encircling embrace
Breathing into existence
New
Creation.
Ruach.

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